Here come the another new year.....
It is 2011 now.....
I been out of school and study outside for 2 years.......
As usual, I am now still studying......in college......
but I dont know why today.........
I had a feeling that I am lost.......

I am struggling........
struggling in study.......(as everybody is in now)
struggling for exams and quizes.......
struggling for good results.........
struggling for doing well in clinical.........
struggling for gaining more knowledge.......
struggling for being understanding to patient.......
struggling for providing what best for patient........

Feeling of cant breathe.......
What am I struggling for???
It keep asking me in my mind......

for the future???
In common sense , YA

is it so important to have a good result or a good performance????
In social thinking , YA

if you dont have that good result to certified that you are doing well in this few year training,then you are worthless????
In employee thinking , YA

IS THIS THE FACT???
The fact that you have to be the top one then you will have a bright future......
if you are not the top one, you will lose your bright future......
or maybe you will been facing more hardship in your future career.......

Time Running Fast

Time running so fast....we already step into the month of february. Only left about 30 days more i will get my SPM result , feeling morer and morer nervous about knowing the result as the day reaching nearer and nearer. Before that, many of my friends already went to work , and some of them already knew where should they go and started to study since january , some were very lucky been chosen to go to PLKN had already went serving almost a month and had great fun there .


This Chinese New Year , all of my friends came back once again , but still some cannot make it as they have to work . I am very appreciated the time spending together with them . This 2009 Chinese New Year , almost everyday i seldom stayed at home , althought it was very tired going here going there and alway eat till very fulled , but i think it was a good memory to be remember . Most of us were classmate since standard 4 , after going to secondary school , we all still study in the same school for 5 years . Today all of them had to went back to study , serving and working again. I don"t know wether we all can meet again and maybe some have already change a lot when we meet . But i hope that we all will still remember each other .


Now all of my friends already start busy doing their own things now , i still do not know what am i going to do . I already can see that March as is waving it hands at me , telling me that there"s already not much time for me to play anymore . I have to make up my mind what am i going to do , which course do i need to take , where am i going to study ....... after getting my SPM result . I had thought about it for almost a month but still don"t have a conclusion . I also put this problem into my praying everyday , hope that i "ll get a clue soon .